Tuesday, May 01, 2007

"We are prophets of a future not our own"

This is a prayer often called the Oscar Romero Prayer, although it was written by Bishop Ken Untener. Anyway, read it then read my rambling to follow :)

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.

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I find myself at a crossroads. I will be graduating in less than five days, and my time at Regis draws to a close (at least for now, who knows what the future may bring). It is very bittersweet. I'm glad to leave, yet this has been a beautiful life-forming place over the last four years, and I feel like there is so much more I could learn by remaining hear... yet I know the opportunites to grow continue on.

For those of you who don't know I am going to be moving on into the Colorado Vincentian Volunteers starting in August 4th, where I will be working at the Metro Care Ring for the next year. I will be living with about 12 other people in an intentional community, who will all be working at other sites around the city. I know this experience is going to grow me as much as my four years at Regis.

I just came out of the final reflections for the current Romero House students as they wrap up their year along with me. It moved me deeply, partly because of my own connection to that house, and to some of the non-profits they worked at, along with our shared trip to El Salvador. But not only that, it reminded me of what exactly I'm aiming for in my life. One of my friends just recently told me how she is inspired by how I want to change the world.

That's what it's really about. This is why I know I want to work with college-age people. I've grown so much, challenged so much of what I grew up knowing, and continue to meet God in whole new ways. I haven't found many answers, but I am learning to ask better questions.

I've never really liked "Imagine" by John Lennon, I just couldn't get past the "Imagine there's no Heaven / It's easy if you try" part because that is so integral to who I am, the future fullness of the Kingdom of God. But maybe it really isn't how we expect it will be anyway. I still believe that Hell exists too, but I really hope nobody is there. I'm still by no means a fan of the song, but perhaps I should give it another chance or two.

I'm just little old me, screwed up and broken as I am, but that doesn't mean God doesn't use me. That doesn't mean change will not come through me. Even if that means my end, there is something greater. I'm not stupid enough to call suffering upon myself, but if it comes because of my faith and because of my ideals, so be it. I know I'm not alone so this is where I need to step out. I need to be a prophet of that future that is not my own.

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