I'm just going to be honest, I'm fishing for advice...

So. Here is the deal. I've been thinking about the whole romantic side of life lately and I realize that I know plenty about what makes relationships run, and I have given many of my friends advice about their relationships so I feel pretty confident about that part of my experience and knowledge (that is, learning many things not to do from my own relationships and my friends, along with seeing and reading about many of the things that should happen...).

The thing is, I feel pretty clueless about actually starting a relationship.

My two past relationships (okay, so I've had a few times that relationships almost developed and one weird situation since, but I have only dated two people) were transformed friendships. Since then, that has always been my ideal, that I would have this friendship with a girl, and somewhere along the lines things might click and we would start dating. However, recently my best friend made a good point: If I had a friendship first with someone that I'm possibly interested in dating, or if it developed out a friendship where there wasn't as much interest at first, then I'm going to be horribly concerned about not losing the friendship.

As I have though about what he has said over the past few days, I realize he has a good point. The friend that I was interested in awhile back (if you have been following my life for long, the one who wants to become a nun)... I was interested in her despite all the things that might make it difficult, but I was so afraid of hurting the friendship that I didn't say anything for a long time, despite that it was completely obvious (according to my other friend... the three of us always hung out).

Out of that circumstance, I ended up needing to distance myself from her for awhile because of my feelings for her. It has been only the last month or two that I feel like I could begin to rebuild a friendship with her. I haven't really taken the steps necessary for that, but I know I could do it.

So we come to me in the present. I know in many ways I need to figure this out for myself, and that is going to mean tring and possibly failing, however, I would covet any advice that anyone would like to impart on me.

For guys, whatever success you have please share. I am particularly interested in stories from married people about how their relationship started. I like my ideal of a relationship developing out of a friendship, but I wonder how realistic and probable that actually is.

For girls, I'm curious to how you would want to be approached if someone was interested in you. Stories are always helpful. I also admit that I'm very much a chicken at heart and that it would take some time on my part to actually approach someone that I was interested in, but that is another issue entirely.

I know that relationships aren't easy. And I am sure that I need to break myself of my idealistic picture that exists in my mind (which is very ironic considering how many people I know that have had relationship struggles in the past, and that I have given advice to a good chunk of them in the midst of them... I'm not that much different than them!!).

I guess what is also hard for me, is although I conceptually know how a good relationship would be, I haven't really experienced personally a healthy relationship. I have my parents marriage as an example of working through the hard stuff that comes up, along with my best friend's marriage as the same, but both of them have their share of issues. I wouldn't necessarily call my parents relationship unhealthy, but it could be better. So in a lot of ways I'm without practical examples, and it is my hearts desire to know what it would be to have a healthy, God-fearing relationship, conflict and all.

This is also when I have to submit to God's timetable. However, I don't believe that God simply has a little track for me to follow, but that the decisions I make have an impact, and I'm not supposed to sit on my butt and wait for a girl to drop into my lap without having to do any work. But, that's when discernment is important in figuring out when to go forward, which of course brings me back to my original question of "how."

I guess that is all I have to say for tonight. Probably more fluff than needed. Yet, concise has never been my word.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing enough to impart some wisdom on me.