Mute Math!!!! and further complexities

So, despite being extremely tired, here I am at 3:00 in the morning writing a blog.

Yesterday... I guess I can say that, even though it was only 4 hours ago or so I got back from a really awesome concert. The first cover band wasn't really that interesting. My friend described it as hearing a mix off all the stuff he hears on MTV. Since I don't watch MTV, I have to take his word for it, but I can say they were fairly bland. The second band was pretty interesting and I was going to buy their CD, but they don't have one out yet, only itunes and such, so we will see about that. But of course, I came for Mute Math anyway.

Mute Math is awesome. Their recorded stuff is awesome, but you really have to see them in person for the full experience. They have such a stage presence... really great energy, involvement with the crowd, and mindblowingly good music!

They have enough of a mixture in their style that it isn't just the same thing over and over again. And their lyrics... wow I love the lyrics. Mute Math doesn't market themselves as Christian, but all 4 of them are followers of Jesus and it really shows in their songs. A few of the songs ended up being a worship time for me and God.

One of their songs, "You are Mine" speaks about how everyone has obsessions and addictions, but that, like the song says, You are mine. It makes me wonder why I bother with other things when Jesus is so awesome, and if I actually followed after him with complete passion, all the other things would fall into place. That also has some particular implications for me at the moment, but I will go into that later.

I could really write a blog based on each of the song's lyrics. Part of why I like MM is that with their music, it isn't like a pure praise an worship song. What I mean by that is the actual song itself is interesting enough that I can have it in the background while I'm doing something, but I can also take the time to actually focus on the lyrics and really go into the depth that they hold. I think it's great.

I also bought a bit of "modern art" made by the drummer, Darren King. It's pretty much the top of one of his drums (because he gives it some hard love) with some random clippings and his signature and whatnot. The money will go towards the replacement part so I feel good in helping the band out in that way. Not to mention I got something unique. I also got a polo shirt. Unfortunately they ran out of XL, but that is just another excuse for me to get myself exercising, especially because I have another MM shirt that is a wee bit tight on me. They also made 1000 copies of their albums on actual Vinyl LP's which I snagged a copy of and have 2 signatures so far.

It's kind of funny. I have yet to meet all the band members after a concert. Granted, some of them are probably pretty tired by the end of the show (like I said, they really pour themselves into it) and not really in the mood to be sociable. I find it amusing because it means I have a poster, the vinyl, and their CD's, all with various signatures. Perhaps I will eventually get the collection "complete" so to speak. An excuse for me to keep going to the concerts I guess?

I really am a chicken when it comes to girls. I'm not going to lie. There was a cute girl at the concert that I recognized from the last concert and I came nowhere near summoning up enough courage to even go over and say "hey, I recognize you from the last concert so I wanted to say hi" or something like that. If anything, she could be an interesting person to talk with, considering our mutual love for Mute Math. I hate approaching strangers in the first place, not to mention a cute female stranger.

I don't know what to do with myself though. I feel like in some ways I'm completely inept about approaching women. I mean, like my only two relationships both kinda naturally grew out of friendships... like, I didn't really develop 'feelings' for them until after we knew each other for awhile. What I don't know how to deal with is when I'm interested in someone that I don't know well or am in the process of getting to know.

Part of it kinda goes back to what I was saying about the song "You Are Mine" earlier... In the one sense, I know that if I seek after God first and not get tied up in knots about relationship stuff, that eventually he will probably bring that into my life. But, with where I'm finding myself right now, what if it is God putting someone into my life because I have been following him more? I mean, I'm probably making more of an issue of it than I should, but that doesn't mean that God couldn't have put this person into my life and that I'm the one making it complicated.

Argh!

I mean, I know that I'm honestly afraid to maybe pursue where my interest seems to be going because I don't want to hurt the possibility of a friendship. And I also know that part of it is that I tend to be more concerned with other people to a fault... like, I don't know where this person is about relationships, or if this could possibly hurt them, etc etc etc... so I want to play it all super safe and try and find all of that out before I think about pursing something. I know that doing that is good in some ways, but I know I could easily take it to far and have it end up being an excuse and a way to not do what is best for me.

I also feel like I should be spending more time praying about this and less time thinking. I mean, yeah I'm tired, but I'm awake enough to write for 45 minutes here so why exactly can't I spend the time asking God these things instead of trying to poll my audience or something in some attempt to get some good advice or whatever.

I just don't know. And I'm also tired enough to be vulnerable about it, so I guess we might see how I feel about this in the morning...

Night folks.