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So what do I tell my captive audience next? Which reminds me, I love comments. It makes me feel like people care what I say once in awhile, hee hee. No pressure or anything but I love answering questions or providing more information if people are curious or whatnot. So, that's all the begging for attention I'm going to do.

So the meeting with my former youth pastor went well. It was really nice to catch up with him and talk about how our lives are going and get his opinion on some stuff, especially since he has gone to grad school and whatnot. My friend's interview went really well. He doesn't quite have the job, but he feels confident in how it went, so I won't be surprised if he has a job in the next few days.

Speaking of him, I have to say I'm really impressed. He has recently been coming to church with me, and really finding Jesus. He grew up Catholic but many things happened a few years ago that caused him to lose faith, so he has a lot of bitterness to get over. I have really seen him grow. Our pastor always puts it that with Jesus, it doesn't matter as much where you are theologically, etc, etc, but whether or not you are going closer or further to Jesus. From what I can tell, he is "crashing into the Kingdom of God" faster than a lot of people I know who have grown up in the church and been good little followers of Jesus, but from what I can tell of their 'fruits' they are dead. But, I'm not the one that can judge other people's hearts.

Think about it, if anybody was closer to Jesus ethically, morally, spiritually, it would be the Pharisees. Yet, they were the subject of his most harsh criticism because inside they were dead. And here were these prostitutes, tax collectors, blind, lepers, etc. who were experiencing the love and healing of Jesus and crashing head first into the Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God, there is a really interesting subject. There is so much of it. I recommend The Gospel of the Kingdom by George Ladd. What the kingdom is goes back to the archaic definition of kingdom. It is not simply the area (realm) but the actual power and authority. As Ladd says, "The Kingdom of God is His kingship, His rule, His authority." The Kingdom of God includes the future "Heaven" where God is fully manifested on earth, it also includes the present because God has allowed us to experience part of his Kingdom after the resurrection of Jesus. It is also our experience of the blessings of God. You can find the full text of the book here: http://www.gospelpedlar.com/articles/GK/gospel_of_the_kingdom.html

I have really been experiencing the Kingdom of God lately. I have helped out with a ministry that is starting in our church over the last 2 Mondays. We went into an apartment complex in the poorer part of Arvada and had a meal then watched a Nooma video and had a discussion about it. This last week we only really got kids, but we are still learning how to do things. Even then, we are completely surrendered to what God wants to do. It's his show, we are just there to go where he sends us. Just because we think it should be run one way or another doesn't mean that is how it should be done. So we will see how it goes.

I really like my church. What can I say. There are some really awesome people here and I have grown so much in the last year. I'm excited to see what God is doing, both in me and in my friends. I think I'm getting closer to the point where I can say I'm excited to get up in the morning. I don't think that realization has completely hit me yet, but I'm very grateful for it.

Of course, there are some bumps in my life. I have currently cut off communication with my ex-gf for awhile. There is no reason to go into the details of why I chose to do this, because talking about the situation isn't going to do anything but increase the tension. In general, I feel like all I get is frustration when I talk to her, and if anyone else that I considered a friend started acting like that, I wouldn't put up with it so there is no reason why I should make an exception with her.

I mean, I believe that any relationship can be reconciled, even the most abusive hurtful relationship. But I'm also learning more and more that it doesn't always happen, and sometimes it is necessary to move on, for physical, emotional, and/or spiritual well being. I don't like that things have to be that way. Such as, one of my friends is getting a divorce. It breaks my heart, and I wish in some ways they (or at least the guy) would try harder to save the relationship. But, it looks like that is not going to happen. I know that God will work in either way that it goes. Still breaks my heart though.

Speaking of heartbreaks. My housemates wedding was this last weekend. I got to usher. I wore a suit and everything. It was really fun for the most part. The hard part was when they had communion during the service. Since they are Catholic, there was a Mass during the service.

I would like to pause, because my friend's little brother would like to say that I am weird.

After communion during the Mass, I was having a hard time keeping things together. Here are my friends and roommates that I love and I know are my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I can't share communion with them. I understand the difference in our understanding of communion. But that doesn't make it any easier. And I don't like the brokenness of the church.

Well. More happy news. I just checked my grades and it appears I have failed my first class. It was a class from last semester that I got an incomplete on. I got the final essay in, but it wasn't that good. I assume he at least got it, but I didn't get any confirmation. That really killed my GPA. To the tune of 3.8 down to 3.5. Needless to say, I'm trying not to have a nervous breakdown right now. It's not the end of the world, but it does mean I'm going to have to take another philosophy class in order to finish my major, which kinda throws off my plans of what I was going to take.

I know things will work out alright. But, at the moment I'm tired, I'm still in shock, and I'm glad my friend and his wife already went to bed because the Bacardi's up there are sounding pretty good for all the wrong reasons. This is where I'm glad I don't drink much. I'm probably going to go to bed soon because there are plenty of stress relievers which I could probably think of which would all be self-destructive in on way or another. And that wouldn't really help me much now would it?

I need to take a deep breath and pray. That's for sure. And pray. Not to mention pray. I'm definitely a wreck in the making at the moment.

I guess I will continue this series later. More I want to talk about of course, but I'm really not in the mood.

Night.