Wow
Okay, I'm not sure where to begin.
Today has certainly taken an unexpected turn. To put it simply, as of today I'm not single anymore.
So yeah... I had some really long and in depth conversations with my friend and we decided that we wanted to go forward in our relationship. I'm not going to lie, I still have some fears and reservations but I know that it will be alright, and I love her enough that I feel it is worth the step.
It's really weird to me, to be taking this big of a step without actually having met her in person. Call me crazy. For those of you who know me well enough, know that this isn't something I would usually do. I'm usually too calculated and put a lot of thought into my decisions... however I really feel that God is in this... in fact I don't see any other way.
I mean, how else could I go from barely knowing someone a week and a half ago, to feeling a strong enough connection to her to want to start dating her... despite the thought of struggles between us, despite the distance away that we live, and that we go to different schools and have work of one kind or another and all that. I feel that she is worth this risk.
The reason that I know God is in this, is simply because this is not something I would do on my own. I would not have the nerve to step out like this. I know that talking to her has brought up so much of my emotional damage and pain from my last relationship... allowing me to heal and mend. I'm not completely over what has happened in my past but the fact that it has been brought out into the open is an important step to me. I'm so blessed right now... I'm thankful that God has worked in my life like this... and that I have been able to meet such a wonderful person because of it.
She has shown me nothing but patience and kindness, even though that I know I have hurt her already because of the fears that I have... and the indecisve nature that I have fairly often. I know God is working in me more. Because of the love that she has shown me, I know that God can show me even more, and it has caused me to draw closer to him. I was feeling in such a low place before, and even though things have been difficult, I'm feeling so much better... I can see hints of joy and hope in my life. For this I am so thankful.
I feel more prepared to not only face the future with her, but also in general, because I know getting over these fears etc. that plague me also affect the rest of my life. This is a strong incentive for me to challenge myself to grow... because I wouldn't want to do it on my own.
This is definetly going to be one of the most meaningful birthdays for me. Not because I'm going to be 21 and can drink and whatnot, but because of the love that I have seen and experienced, and the knowledge that it will continue to grow.
Goodnight everyone... Praise be to God!!!!!
Today has certainly taken an unexpected turn. To put it simply, as of today I'm not single anymore.
So yeah... I had some really long and in depth conversations with my friend and we decided that we wanted to go forward in our relationship. I'm not going to lie, I still have some fears and reservations but I know that it will be alright, and I love her enough that I feel it is worth the step.
It's really weird to me, to be taking this big of a step without actually having met her in person. Call me crazy. For those of you who know me well enough, know that this isn't something I would usually do. I'm usually too calculated and put a lot of thought into my decisions... however I really feel that God is in this... in fact I don't see any other way.
I mean, how else could I go from barely knowing someone a week and a half ago, to feeling a strong enough connection to her to want to start dating her... despite the thought of struggles between us, despite the distance away that we live, and that we go to different schools and have work of one kind or another and all that. I feel that she is worth this risk.
The reason that I know God is in this, is simply because this is not something I would do on my own. I would not have the nerve to step out like this. I know that talking to her has brought up so much of my emotional damage and pain from my last relationship... allowing me to heal and mend. I'm not completely over what has happened in my past but the fact that it has been brought out into the open is an important step to me. I'm so blessed right now... I'm thankful that God has worked in my life like this... and that I have been able to meet such a wonderful person because of it.
She has shown me nothing but patience and kindness, even though that I know I have hurt her already because of the fears that I have... and the indecisve nature that I have fairly often. I know God is working in me more. Because of the love that she has shown me, I know that God can show me even more, and it has caused me to draw closer to him. I was feeling in such a low place before, and even though things have been difficult, I'm feeling so much better... I can see hints of joy and hope in my life. For this I am so thankful.
I feel more prepared to not only face the future with her, but also in general, because I know getting over these fears etc. that plague me also affect the rest of my life. This is a strong incentive for me to challenge myself to grow... because I wouldn't want to do it on my own.
This is definetly going to be one of the most meaningful birthdays for me. Not because I'm going to be 21 and can drink and whatnot, but because of the love that I have seen and experienced, and the knowledge that it will continue to grow.
Goodnight everyone... Praise be to God!!!!!
posted by Typo Panther at
10:55:00 PM
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