It is Strange...

...to look at myself and realize that I have a lower self-esteem than I thought. I guess I always thought that my self esteem was fine, because I felt like I didn't fall into the stereotypical mold of what it means to be a person with low self esteem.

However, if I really look at myself, I realize that there are some parts of myself which I would tend to second-guess myself too often, places where I don't trust myself, things that I'm afraid of saying or doing, because I feel like I'm not ready... I guess I'm not really sure where to go from here. Since I have always through of myself being fairly well off psychologically, I never considered having the possibility of having low self-esteem, so I'm not sure what to do I guess.

I know one thing... that God loves me for who I am, and there is a reason God made me like I am, and there might be some parts of me that are this way for a reason. However, I know that can't be used as an excuse, because it is just as likely that it is based on events when I was younger and whatnot, and that leaves me not as God would want me to have. I guess, specifically my fear of not being ready to do something, and feeling like I don't know enough to do it or anything like that... I know that is something which I just need to give up. In my head I know its wrong, and its a stupid way to look at things, but it hasn't moved into my heart... to the point where I actually believe it.

I guess mainly I would ask for prayer from anybody out there who is so inclined, it would be much appreciated.

It's not really fun to look at myself and acknowledge my faults... to face them and take ownership of it. I know that it is through that, that I can actually change... that if I just convince myself that I'm alright as I am, that I won't feel any need to change.

I wish I could say this was my only struggle, but this is definitely the one of the moment.

-Daniel