Ahh... catch up

I haven't gotten around to blogging for awhile.

There has definetly been much to talk about in my life... however, I just haven't felt inspired enough to talk about it. I mostly blame that on Rome Total War and Civ 3... But anyway.

I turned 21 almost 2 weeks ago, so that was definetly a big thing for me. On my birthday I had 2 glasses of Cider Beer and 1 shot of 1800 (tequila). The next night I was invited to go to a karaoke bar (which, ironically was right down the street from my parent's house). Over there, one of my friends got me the house shot... which happens to be the strongest drink in the house. What a way to start that off eh? After that I nursed a Captain's 7 for the rest of the night... needless to say I was a tiny bit out of it at that point. Thankfully I didn't get anywhere near drunk... not exactly how I would have wanted to start off my career as a 21 year old.

So that was fun, I'm definetly looking foward to trying out different drinks once in awhile, but I don't see myself making a habit of it... and by the way, if I do... would someone please smack me upside the head??

Now... as you might have read from my other blogs, I recently met a girl... here on MySpace interestingly enough. We really seemed to hit it off, and things seemed to be going pretty well for the most part. We were really working through some of our struggles with each other. And we were more or less going to start dating.... HOWEVER... Monday morning, I got a random text message saying "Its over leave me alone- dont text or call again." Of course... I didn't follow those intstructions because this was completely out of the blue, no reasons given.

Needless to say, she has somebody else as her boyfriend on her profile, and I haven't gotten any sort of answer from her about what exactly happened. I admit, I would really like to know why she did what she did, however I'm not going to hold out any hopes for it. I'm not going to let a lack of knowledge keep me from moving on.

I'm thankful that God brought up crap from my past relationships to deal with. I know there is still more damage to deal with, and that I'm not completely over things that happened to me before... but I now have the opportunity to face them and give them to God, because if I try and handle it myself I know they will just hide in the depths of my being again until something drags them out into the light. I want them gone, not just hiding.

I'm unhappy for how things went, but thats fine. I know I need to spend more time with God before I'm ready for a relationship. If I don't have that foundation to begin with, having a deep relationship will just make it even more difficult to spend time with God. My computer and friends and school distract me enough as it is.

I'm not going to lie though... I do feel lonely and broken in a lot of ways. Part of me really would like to be in a relationship with someone. I have some very close friends which I am thankful for, but it isn't the same. Again, that brings me back to where I know I need to look to God and get the intimacy from him first... not another person... because I know from my past relationships, not to mention what just happened with this other girl, that kind of intimacy is not what I want... it is too hollow.

So those are the main things going on in my life right now. I do have to say, Rome: Total War is a really good game... very addicting... I'm kinda glad I'm not going to be at my place this weekend so I might have a chance to actually get to my reading... I have enough of it coming up.

This is all that comes to mind for now. Like I said, enough has gone on that I have plenty to talk about. Nothing seems too pressing however.

Bye for now everyone!