The Ride

I had the most magnificent ride tonight.

Riding alone in the darkness down the Platt River Trail, I would have to say it was a spiritual experience.

I didn't feel the need to stop and rest until I was close to home and the inclines began.

I really enjoy biking. My next goal is to find some other people to bike with. There are a few people from the St. Francis Center where I have been interning over the summer who bike, but they are fairly older than I am and I would desire to have some people who are more at my life stage.

Also, I can't deny that I would really like to date somebody who rides. I think that riding along with someone and coming to the end of the journey, all tired and sweaty, and sitting there with someone after going through all that would be incredibly romantic. I can imagine not even needing words, but to look at them in their eyes and know the beauty of what we just accomplished.

I try not to put expectations on things in my life, but I have to say I hope that this is one that I can meet.

I almost hate to make a slightly awkward and cheesy transition, but the image of a ride makes me think a little about the ride of my life thus far.

Like my ride tonight, this summer has been amazing. It hasn't been perfect and I have plenty of bumps and bruises to show for it, but overall I have pushed myself and seen the ways that I have grown because of it. It took me awhile to get here but giving myself away each day, especially on those days that I haven't wanted to, has been fulfilling.

I'm still unsure about where I'm heading. However, I know I need to keep pushing on forward to get there. Where I am at in this moment is somewhere I would have never imagined myself as little as a year ago, but it is so much better than if I had planned out my life. That's frustrating in many ways, because I feel like if I know where I'm heading, I could try and prepare myself more for it...

But then again, would I really prepare? And if I could, wouldn't that cause me to rely more on myself, and less on God? When I have no idea where I'm going, and am completely dependent on God, that allows God to work better in my life. It seems so hard at least at this place in my life. I mean, if God is pushing me ultimately towards Grad School, I do need to make the steps to look at schools, take the GRE and whathave you. I really want to completely surrender to God's leading, but, that doesn't mean I completely give up all personal responsibility, so where is the balance?

Back to the bike image... if I just go riding off somewhere, without any idea where I am going, I could end up at an awesome place that I didn't know existed. It also means I'm not going to know about the pot holes and piles of glass that are along the way. If I plan too much ahead, I won't get as much out of it. If I stay on the same routes, I won't see much new, and there isn't anything to push my reflexes or challenge my endurance, and that's no fun.

I know I need to fight the urge to have an escape plan, but I can't escape the fear that I might go careening off a cliff, or miss the turn I was supposed to make if I don't plan a little bit. Do I need to trust God more. Is it really so simple that if I am for sure called to grad school that the GRE's and the school will fall into place? It's so counter-intuitive, but perhaps that is why it ends up working.

After all, God has been doing work for thousands of years without seminaries and grad schools, so I doubt it is necessary for God to use me. Could it improve my ride... certainly. Bikes worked quite fine without topography maps and GPS and high powered lights, so I think I will do alright.

I like riding at night.